I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
