Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
