Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
