I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
