i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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