You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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