I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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