she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize