OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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