you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
