I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
