so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I wish i was in the wii world.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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