I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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