i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
