i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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