Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
