I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I can't put those talents on a resume
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
