No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
