alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Everything about him screamed your future.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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