More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
