Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Found the puke drawer
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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