The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Randomize