Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
