I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
