dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
