i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
