jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
