the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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