I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
