Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
it was like eating out sand paper
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
