a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
