You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
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