There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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