i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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