I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
