Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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