that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
