Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
