I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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