he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
