Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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