Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I think a kid would responsible me up
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
