I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
