She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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