i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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