hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
