:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
