Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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