Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize