I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize