We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize