Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
