JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
