He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
