i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
