and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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