You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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