I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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