Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
