ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
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I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
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You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
My dick has a subreddit
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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