I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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