And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
