Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
