And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
