he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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