You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
