Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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